went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize