Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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