Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
