I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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