omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
