I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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