omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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