Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
