he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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