I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
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i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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