if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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