I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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