My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
