it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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