i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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