I look better un-naked...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
