dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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