so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize