ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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