girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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