you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
