please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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