Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
