Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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