ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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