im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
