I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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