It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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