No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
