So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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