Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hippo gnu deer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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