You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize