I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
