He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
