she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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