I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
