I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
