i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
