im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
