if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize