We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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