Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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