I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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