i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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