You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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