overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Boobs are out for the taking
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
