My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
