Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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