I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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