She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
