I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
