the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize