white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
