Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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