why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
