Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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