At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
