Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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