Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize