I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
