There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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